Tuesday, 14 February 2012

• life since adding boy #4

   

  so. i have not updated this since we took in our new guy, whom i'll refer to as baby boy.

  wow, how our life changed that january 3rd night! i'll never forget sitting at rex's basketball practice, chasing leo around...and the life changing text i got from our other girls' caseworker about a baby they'd need placement for in a few hours. i no joke, asked leo if we should take a baby(knowing he says no to most questions)...and he said, "yesh. i wan baby." well, okay.

  that first night, he was so confused, tired and sick. i bathed him, found some old leo pj's, tried to calm him down. i rocked him to sleep that night and just cried over his story. he cried out a few times that night, but overall slept pretty well. but was completely frazzled the next morning. he still often wakes up in a completely hysterical fit. as if he has no idea where he woke up. 

  all four of our other kids were just in love. in fact, that first morning i had pulled baby out of bed and was just holding him in my bed before i got up, when rex came in my room. he'd been asleep when the baby arrived, so it was his first time to see him. he crawled up on the bed, and with a huge grin and cheesy baby voice said, "oh! well dis must be our new baby! hi there!". at which point we got the first of many smiles out of baby boy.

  i was worried about how leo would do with him. there is only a little over 7 months between them. potential for major competition issues. but that sweet boy rose to the challenge of being a big brother, and acts years older around him. brings him toys..talks to him in baby voices...recently we had to take a long trip to the dr for baby. leo was genuinely very ill. high fever, congested, and miserable. baby was understandably ticked about the dr appointments and car ride. but was just being fussy in the car. and by fussy, i mean pretty horrible. and leo would just repeat over and over, "it's okay baby, it's okay. don't cwy."

  

   

  i am realizing now how amazingly easy our three boys were as babies. i've never had a clingy one quite like this...and i've certainly never had a baby that was terrified of kevin. to say it's been challenging to deal with the complete freak outs every time kevin walks in the door would be a massive understatement. they have gradually gotten better. he'll finally play with kevin and reach for him, even when i'm in the same room. and while i know we've only had him 6 weeks...it seems like it's been an eternity of baby steps. but he continues to cry every time kevin comes home...and it's exhausting. after 5-10 minutes...when he realizes kevin is okay, he can snap out of it. he's just a tad bit attached to me.

  

  our biggest issue has been sleep. he slept great at first. in fact, too good, and all the time. but as he's gotten more healthy and strong, he finds much energy in the night to scream at me. running our home with 5 children is kinda hard. running our home with 5 children on very little sleep is darn near impossible. i got desperate. we just can't sell our house TODAY. or move somewhere bigger TODAY. i needed some kind of fix for the lack of sleep, fast. i knew baby was just fussing only half awake in the night...then i'd tend to him and it'd turn into a full out fit. he needed to be left alone. a few nights ago as i laid in bed, listening to him call me from 2 feet away at 2:14am, praying for God to help SOMEHOW...i got a brilliant idea. square footage wise, the boys' room is just too small to put another kid in. (in fact if our boys were foster kids it's too small for the 3 of them.) but OUR room is big enough for 4 kids. and after not much convincing...we decided to switch rooms.

  kevin and i spent an entire saturday taking apart and reassembling cribs and bunk beds. ok, so kevin did most of that. i just pretended to help. we were pretty bummed to lose our nice big room and bathroom(the thought of uninterrupted sleep motivated us). the boys thought it was the best day EVER. it's actually quite spacey in there. and baby goes right to sleep(with the exception of a few nights a week...where they choose to giggle for a while first) because the big boys do.  

        

   

  our new room is actually kinda cozy. and extra dark because of the black out shades.

  

   

  now i'm not gonna lie to you. neither of us did this with an especially good attitude. in fact, we were a tad bitter about it. we feel like we're doing what God wants us to do with our lives. i have jokingly referred to our house as "pressed but not squished". but now i feel like it really is squished. i literally trip over a baby at least once a day. it feels like there are people EVERYWHERE. we'd grown out of this house with just our boys and the teen. and now we are busting at the seams. and we were getting frustrated that God hadn't shown up yet with something bigger. haven't we made enough sacrifices God? now we're giving up our room...come on!

  but sunday at church, the sermon was about not giving up on dreams. if you feel God has promised you something, to carry on until it comes to pass. and he used this verse....

  james 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.(the message)

  i feel like God is making sure i've got this patience and waiting thing down pat until something bigger and better comes along. and we'll make the absolute best of what we have and be thankful. and we'll be faithful in the little things. literally.

  

  frustrations with space aside. we are blessed. the teen has been a pleasure. the baby overall has adjusted pretty well. and the 3 blonde boys have been phenomenal with all the change. i'm blessed daily by their acceptance and adaptability. people who chose not to do foster care only because of fear of their biological children's possible reactions, are missing out. child like faith has a new meaning for us as we watch our kids live out what Jesus taught in the gospels. i've said it before, and will say it again. i think these guys are better at foster care than we are.

  

   

   

   

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